Better Health Bytes Banner

Home Search for Your Topic Here Site Map Ask About Health About Us About Pamela Levin Your Better Health Starts Here

Note: Here is your health improvement information as you requested.
If you no longer want these health tips, click unsubscribe at the bottom of this newsletter.
Self Defeat and Self Sabotage - How You Can Stop It

Volume IV   # 55       Copyright 2013        All Rights Reserved

 If you're not yet a subscriber,
Click here to receive these essential tips, free special reports 
and request  your topic
Most of us don't need anyone else to defeat us - we're too busy doing it to ourselves.  Here's one way to stop it... 

There's nothing so frustrating as working toward a goal that's almost as dear to your heart as breathing, and even though you work and work to achieve it, you only fail again and again.

You might suspect that you're defeating yourself, but how to tell? After all, if you're not aware of it, how can you change it?

Below you can avail yourself of a highy effective method some colleagues and I used in a week-long training designed to be safe enough to work out pre-verbal issues. And our  approach was not what you might expect. 

We didn't spend lots of time analyzing unconscious motives right away. Instead we first did our best to made sure that the energy required to truly do effective work was not being siphoned off at some level. In other words, we asked each person to close all escape hatches.

An escape hatch completes this sentence: "If things get bad enough, i can always..." , I can always "smoke myself to death." "Eat myself into oblivion: "Starve myself into nonexistence." "Provoke someone to hurt me." Etc.

We required that each person commit to keeping the agreements during the entire training, but suggested they adopt them permanently.

This has the delicious consequence of stopping the leak of energy and channeling it into behavior that's actually problem-solving and constructive.

In case you'd like to check these out for yourself, here are the agreements.


1. I will not harm myself accidentally or on purpose and I will not provoke anyone else to hurt me. I will protect and nurture myself.

2. I will not harm any other person or the environment accidentally or on purpose. I will respect others and myself and act in a responsible way.

3. I will not run away physically or emotionally. I will stay, work through my feelings, thoughts and behavior, and solve problems.

4.  I will not be sneaky or lie.  I will be honest with myself and others both intellectually and emotionally. 

5. I will not get sick or go crazy. Instead I will be and become sane and healthy and work through problems responsibly by structuring my work within a contract.

6.  I will stay socially appropriate except under contract.  

7. I will not be passive. I will be responsive to my own and others' thoughts, feelings and behavior.


If you'd like to experience the difference keeping these agreements with yourself can make in your own life, you can start by reviewing each of them and committing to keeping them. Then choose the one you think will be hardest for you to keep, and focus your efforts for change there.

Inevitably, this will lead you to some unfinished business somewhere in your developmental history.  To find out how that inborn developmental process is designed and how to develop in healthy ways go to www.emotionaldevelopment

(This version was developed by the Experiencing Enough Training Staff ( Pamela Levin, Gail and Harold Nordeman, Elaine Childs-Gowell) using references from William Holloway,, Laura and Harry Boyd.)

You're welcome to forward this newsletter to anyone you feel may benefit.

If this newsletter was forwarded to you, you can sign up  for your own copy
and request a topic you'd like to see covered,
click here

Tags: behavior problems self destructive self defeating self sabotage self defeat self destructive behaviors self defeating behavior self destructive behaviours self sabotage behavior

The Nourishing Company, P.O. Box 1429, Ukiah, Ca 95482, USA
Unsubscribe | Change Subscriber Options 

Get Your Own Copy of BetterHealthBytes delivered to your inbox plus  request a topic you'd like covered!

We HATE SPAM and respect your email privacy.

Let us know what what topics you're interested in. That way you'll help shape content and empower other readers.  We encourage you to let us know what you'd like covered.

Note: We do not make recommendations based on any individual's specific health situation.We offer general information beneficial to anyone with health concenrs. We do not guarantee an answer to every question or request.

Tags: behavior problems self destructive self defeating self sabotage self defeat self destructive behaviors self defeating behavior self destructive behaviours self sabotage behavior


To learn how to create the emotional life you desire, go to
Emotional Development 101,

a series of 10, one-hour per week online classes!

Banner-Emotional-Dev 101-tn.jpg

Register now at:

and begin immediately!

Graduates' responses:

"I have a greater sense of inner peace..."
"I feel optimistic and hopeful about the future..."
"Superb... full of insights..."
"Profoundly changed my life..."
"I now realize so many things about myself, my life & the world..."
"My life is already enriched..."
"Made me feel relaxed, important, having a place on earth... to need, feel & be happy about myself."
" incredible experience..."
"...opened up a whole new world I didn't even know existed."

See Course Outline
Hear Free Audio Introduction
Access Course Objectives
Learn All Details
go to: